PNoy Supporter to Grow Extra Arms for Yellow Ribbons

FB photo of Jimmy Salazar, PNoy's number 1 fan.

Members of the Yellow Army were enthusiastic with President BS Aquino's call to pin yellow ribbons of support. Various reports from the media showed PNoy supporters pinning yellow ribbon on their shirts, cars, houses, and other place imaginable.

But the President's number one fan beat the others by filling his body with yellow ribbons.

In a viral photo, PNoy's number one fan Jimmy Salazar have yellow ribbons on every inch of his body.

The photo's caption reads: “My love for Dear Leader is so great that I don't mind the pins piercing my body. The blood is a sign of my devotion to the greatest president of the Philippines. F**k Supreme Court!”

In a Facebook comment, Salazar said that he is currently looking for a good surgeon who can give him extra limbs so that he will have extra space for the yellow ribbons.

Salazar's photo already have 1 million likes and 800 thousand shares as of writing.

PNoy Named as Philippines' No. 1 Fiction Writer

The Creative Writers' Guild of the Philippines named President Benigno S. Aquino III as the country’s number 1 fiction writer a day after his State of the Nation Address (SONA).

Lito Pagoso, chairman of the writers’ guild, praised the president for having the most creative literary piece since Noli Me Tangere. “He writes fiction very very well. He is the best one that we have.” Pagoso said.

The president accepted the “Best Fiction Writer” medal at the awarding ceremony held in Malacañang Palace. In attendance are the known fiction writers from the Philippine Daily Inquirer and Philippine Star, and the media practitioners from ABS-CBN and GMA.

Writers praised the mention of inclusive growth, increase of job-landing opportunity and the continued “tuwid na daan” plot of his fiction story.

“He should be awarded as a national artist for fiction writing!” Senior fiction writer Karen Davila said in an ambush interview.

Deputy Presidential Spokesperson Abigail Valte promised that the story plot of the next SONA will be more exciting. “We will add coup d’etat and similar exciting actions in the next SONA,” she said.

Pres. Aquino Declared State of Emergency

Minutes after the heavy drama spewed by Kris Aquino on national TV, President B.S. Aquino headed a press conference at the Malacañang Palace to declare State of Emergency.

"I declare State of Emergency."

President Benigno Aquino III on Thursday said he sees a great need for him to use emergency powers to solve the crisis of her sister Kris. He then ordered the AFP Chief of Staff to send troops to neutralize James Yap. President Aquino also lifted the writ of Habeas Corpus. "We must ensure that justice would be served quick for Kris," the president explained.

DOJ secretary Leila de Lima ordered a hold departure order for James to prevent him from leaving the country. In an interview, de Lima said that they are determining if cases can be filed against the basketball star.

De Lima also stressed that all those who post unsavory things against Kris on Facebook, Twitter and blogs will face the full brunt of Cybercrime Law. "We have a law to protect Kris and with the Habeas Corpus gone we can just throw anyone to the dungeon", De Lima explained will grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Meanwhile, Mother Lily sent a message that the Kris crisis is now an inspiration for the next installment of Mano Po movie.